People often ask about the “why” behind a decision.
Why retire?
Why travel?
Why write?
Why change course after decades of following a familiar path?
For much of my life, I believed that “why” was the most important question. It seemed to hold the key to purpose, motivation, and meaning. Leaders ask it. Coaches ask it. Authors write entire books around it.
But lately, I have begun to wonder if the more important question is not why, but if.
The truth is that most of us can construct a compelling “why.”
We can explain our motivations. We can articulate our dreams. We can tell ourselves stories about what we hope to accomplish or who we hope to become.
The “why” often lives in the realm of aspiration.
The “if” lives in the realm of reality.
If I make this decision, what becomes possible?
If I take this path, what are the consequences?
If I step away from what is familiar, will I be okay?
If I pursue this opportunity, does it align with the life I want to create?
The more I reflect on major decisions in my own life, the more I realize that the most consequential moments were not resolved by answering “why.”
They were resolved by answering “if.”
Retirement was not simply a question of why I wanted to retire. The reasons were obvious: more time with family, freedom to travel, opportunities to write, photograph, and explore the world.
The deeper question was:
If I retire now, will my family be secure?
If I retire now, can we sustain the life we have built?
If I retire now, what opportunities might emerge that are unavailable while I am working?
Only after those questions were answered did clarity emerge.
I have come to believe that an affirmative answer to “if” is what I often call alignment.
Alignment occurs when aspiration and reality shake hands.
When values, resources, timing, and opportunity all point in the same direction.
When the answer is no longer merely desirable, but workable.
Not perfect.
Not risk-free.
Not guaranteed.
But aligned.
Perhaps that is why the question of “if” feels so grounding.
It forces us to gather many threads together—our finances, our relationships, our health, our obligations, our dreams, and our fears.
The “why” can sometimes be driven by emotion.
The “if” demands examination.
The “why” can be imagined.
The “if” must be tested.
And when the answer comes back yes, something remarkable happens.
The internal debate begins to quiet.
The need for justification fades.
There is a sense that the pieces fit.
Not because the future is certain, but because the direction is clear.
I am increasingly convinced that this is where wisdom resides.
Not in finding better reasons.
But in asking better questions.
And perhaps the most important question is this:
If this path is aligned with my values, my responsibilities, and my vision for the future—what am I waiting for?
For me, the answer to that question has opened doors to retirement, travel, writing, family, and a life that continues to unfold in unexpected ways.
The older I get, the less interested I become in explaining why.
And the more interested I become in discovering what becomes possible when the answer to “if” is yes.
One year after retirement, I realized the journey was never about escape. It was about alignment—found somewhere between airports, oceans, memory, and becoming.
One year into the Journey
Somewhere between the leaving… and the arriving… I found something I wasn’t looking for.
Not in one place. Not in one moment. But scattered—across cities, coastlines, quiet streets, and long flights between them.
A year ago, I stepped away from a life that had long defined me. For decades, my days were structured—measured in decisions, responsibilities, and outcomes. It was meaningful, deeply so. But it was also constant.
And then, one day, it wasn’t.
I remember reading something at 30,000 feet—somewhere between continents, suspended between what was and what was next. It said most of us are moving through life somewhere between shining and just getting by.
And for the first time, I had the distance to ask:
Where was I, really?
Retirement didn’t answer that question.
It created the space for it.
At first, the absence of structure feels unsettling. You reach for the familiar rhythms—deadlines, meetings, the quiet validation of productivity. But slowly, something shifts.
The absence becomes space. And the space becomes possibility.
Over the past year, I’ve stood on coastlines where the only clock was the tide. I’ve walked through cities where getting lost felt more meaningful than arriving. I returned to Lagos and found memory waiting for me there. I sat in cafés and airport lounges where time slowed just enough for reflection to finally catch up.
And in those moments, something began to change.
Not suddenly. But steadily.
The things I once thought defined me—titles, roles, expectations—started to fade into the background. Not gone, but no longer in control.
In their place, something quieter emerged.
A different way of living.
One not driven by urgency, but by presence.
Every destination has left something with me. Not simply memories, but clarity. A realization that the life I had built was only one expression of who I am—not the entirety of it.
And perhaps the most unexpected truth of all:
What I thought I had to be… was never the full story.
The noise that once filled my days has softened. The constant internal dialogue of responsibility and expectation has given way to something more measured, more intentional.
More… mine.
I spent years working to feel alive.
Now, I’m learning what it means to simply live.
Not defined by a title. Not anchored to a place. Not measured by output.
Just present. Just aware. Just open to whatever comes next.
One year into this journey, I wouldn’t say I’ve arrived.
But I’ve stopped trying to.
Because somewhere along the way—between airports and oceans, between familiar beginnings and unknown horizons—
I found something better than certainty.
I found a life that felt less constructed… and more true.
I found alignment.
The journey, I’m learning, is not about finding where you are going.
It is about discovering who has been traveling with you all along.
Yourself.
Because distance does not merely separate you from places—it reveals you to yourself.
Europe revealed itself not through monuments alone, but through contradictions. Through bridges built after wars, beauty rising from ruins, and stories of people carrying both scars and hope. I arrived expecting landscapes and history; I left having found something deeper — reminders that nations, like people, are often held together by what has broken them.
Europe revealed itself slowly.
Not merely through castles rising above rivers, cathedrals reaching toward heaven, or cobblestone streets worn smooth by centuries of footsteps. It revealed itself through layers of memory carried almost like sediment along the rivers we followed. Layer upon layer deposited over centuries: triumph and tragedy, brilliance and brutality, faith and conflict, destruction and renewal.
Everywhere there seemed to be bridges.
Bridges spanning the Danube and connecting cities once divided. Bridges joining East and West after walls and iron curtains had fallen. Bridges between strangers who sat beside us at dinner and somehow became companions. Bridges between who we once were and who we are becoming.
But I also found brokenness.
Europe remembers its wounds openly. Memorials stand where suffering occurred. Plaques sit quietly on walls. Churches rise beside reminders of war. Cities rebuilt after destruction still speak of what came before. There seems to be little attempt to erase pain; instead, there is an understanding that remembering itself is an act of healing.
Again and again, I found myself standing in beautiful places while hearing stories of occupation, persecution, world wars, and lives interrupted. It felt almost impossible to separate beauty from sorrow because Europe itself seems unwilling to separate them.
And perhaps people are not so different.
As a physician, I found myself noticing my fellow travelers almost as much as the monuments. Some moved with ease; others moved with deliberate care. Some carried visible limitations while others carried burdens that could not be seen. I recognized in them what I also recognize in myself: scars carried quietly beneath the surface.
We all arrive with them.
Some physical. Some emotional. Some spoken of freely and others carefully guarded.
And yet we continue.
We climb hills despite aching feet. We walk ancient streets despite tired legs. We pursue beauty despite loss. We continue crossing bridges.
Travel has a strange way of removing noise from life. Somewhere between riverbanks and railway stations, between museums and meals, between conversations and long walks, unnecessary things begin to fall away.
Clarity appears.
I began this journey believing it would be about discovery — discovering places, cultures, histories, landscapes.
Increasingly, I realized it had become something else.
It became something quieter.
It became about being.
About understanding the human spirit.
About realizing that we are all travelers of one sort or another, moving through seasons of strength and weakness, trying to make sense of the limited time we have been given.
I met an eighty-six-year-old traveler still seeing the world with curiosity and wonder. I watched fellow travelers persevere through aching knees, canes, fatigue, and age. I listened to stories of transition, loss, and hope. And somewhere in all of it, I found myself reflecting on the truth that time eventually humbles us all.
But perhaps that is also the gift.
Because once we recognize that our days are finite, beauty becomes more precious, conversations become richer, and experiences become less about checking destinations from a list and more about receiving them fully.
Perhaps that is Europe’s deepest contradiction:
Among reminders of humanity at its worst, one also encounters humanity at its best.
Beauty rising from ruins.
Bridges rising from brokenness.
And somewhere between them, perhaps finding pieces of ourselves.
Fuller details of this journey available under Europe Unfolds under Europe.
Some journeys move us across rivers and borders; the deeper ones carry us through memory, beauty, grief, gratitude, and the sacred work of becoming whole.
From a biological standpoint, there is something quietly profound about the human body.
Our skin—the part of us most visible to the world—is composed of layers. The dermis beneath, and the epidermis above. And at the very surface lies what is known as the stratum corneum—a layer made up almost entirely of dead cells.
Cells that have fulfilled their purpose.
Cells that no longer live… yet still cover us.
They protect us.
They define our outward appearance.
And they are constantly being shed, replaced, renewed.
In a sense, we are all walking around covered in what is no longer alive.
The Illusion of Permanence
And yet, despite this remarkable process of renewal, we age.
The body changes.
Time leaves its imprint.
And slowly, unmistakably, we are reminded of a truth that no advancement in science has been able to reverse:
This body was never designed to last forever.
What We See… and What We Are
There is something humbling in realizing that our most outward expression—our skin, our appearance—is, in large part, composed of what has already passed.
What the world sees first… is not the essence of who we are.
It is a covering.
A temporary layer.
A reflection, not the core.
A Quiet Message Over Time
Perhaps this is why aging brings with it a different kind of clarity.
The things we once held tightly—appearance, perception, external identity—begin to loosen their grip.
I am an immigrant. I came to America not as a descendant of its earliest wounds, but as someone who chose it. I built my life here. I trained, worked, led, invested, raised daughters, paid taxes, and contributed to the institutions that make this country function. I have lived the American dream — not perfectly, not effortlessly — but honestly and through discipline.
That is why I care.
When public discourse becomes careless with truth — when arithmetic is stretched beyond recognition, when rhetoric replaces seriousness — it unsettles me. Not because I expect perfection from leaders. No democracy has ever had that. It unsettles me because words matter. Facts matter. Institutions matter. A republic depends on shared reality.
Yet even in moments of disappointment, I remain grounded.
I believe in the arc of justice. History is not linear, but over time it has bent toward broader inclusion, deeper rights, and greater opportunity. There have been dark chapters — civil war, segregation, corruption, political hysteria — but the constitutional core endured. The system corrected. Not instantly. Not painlessly. But steadily.
I also believe in the fundamental goodness of the human spirit.
I grew up in Nigeria, lived for a decade in the United Kingdom, and ultimately built my life in the United States. Across continents and cultures, I have seen the same thing: ordinary people want dignity, opportunity, and fairness. They want to work. They want their children to rise higher than they did. They want stability more than spectacle.
America, at its best, uniquely affirms that your origin does not determine your ceiling. That you can come from anywhere, work hard, contribute meaningfully, and build something lasting. I am evidence of that promise. My daughters are evidence of that promise.
The American dream does not depend on flawless speeches. It depends on durable institutions — rule of law, capital markets, education, civic participation — and on citizens who take their responsibilities seriously. Those foundations remain.
I am disappointed at times. But I am not cynical.
Disappointment means I expect more. Cynicism would mean I expect nothing.
I choose not to surrender to cynicism. Because I have seen too much evidence — in my own life and in the broader sweep of history — that the arc does bend. Slowly. Imperfectly. But persistently.
And I want my daughters to inherit not just wealth or security, but confidence in the idea that effort still matters, integrity still matters, and justice, though delayed at times, is not defeated.
This year has tested and stretched me in ways I could never have imagined. There were moments that demanded strength I didn’t know I possessed, seasons that revealed how fragile plans can be, and lessons that reminded me that grace is not earned — it’s freely given. Through it all, I’ve learned that gratitude isn’t reserved for the easy days; it’s born in the quiet resilience that grows from hardship.
As I pause to reflect this Thanksgiving, I am profoundly grateful — not because everything has been perfect, but because grace met me at every imperfection. I’ve witnessed the faithfulness of God in the small mercies and in the grand provisions. The love of family, the loyalty of friends, the unexpected kindness of strangers, and the strength to keep going — these are blessings beyond measure.
So, I enter this season with a grateful heart. Grateful for the storms that refined me, for the peace that followed, and for the countless ways my journey has been guided by unseen hands. May this Thanksgiving be a reminder to us all: even in life’s uncertainties, gratitude remains the surest expression of faith.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Simply O
Title: Day 2 – Family, Food, and Finding My Roots
Category: Travel Journal
Tags: Lagos, Ogun State, Family Visit, Nigeria, M Lounge, Glaucoma Awareness
A Morning in Lagos
Woke up this morning feeling refreshed and recharged.
I did notice the scale tipping upward slightly—unsurprising, given how hard it is to resist the rich, nostalgic flavors of home. There’s something about the tastes you grew up with that calls to you, calorie count or not.
Being in the tropics, we kept to our daily ritual of taking Malarone—our antimalarial prophylactic. Unlike the typhoid vaccine, which we completed before departure, this one is a daily commitment while we’re here.
With that done, we headed down to the Marriott M Lounge for breakfast.
Breakfast: A Blend of Home and Abroad
As expected, breakfast was sumptuous.
I had a delicious mix of oatmeal and orange juice—classic continental staples—but also couldn’t resist the Nigerian yam and egg combo, topped with a spicy pepper sauce that was absolutely 🔥.
It’s a beautiful thing when breakfast feels like a cultural reunion.
On the Road to Otta
We soon set out to visit my mother in Otta, Ogun State.
Navigating Lagos traffic is a full-body experience—less about the distance and more about maneuvering through a moving maze. The roads themselves aren’t terrible, but the sheer volume of cars creates a kind of vehicular ballet as everyone jostles for space.
One thing I hadn’t seen in a while?
🛒 Street hawkers weaving through traffic, selling everything from bottled water to plantain chips—negotiating deals through car windows. It’s chaotic, yes—but also uniquely Nigerian.
And I’ll say this:
✅ The traffic lights? They work.
A Visit to My Mother
Visiting my mother was deeply grounding.
Though her health is challenged—she’s legally blind due to glaucoma and battles severe arthritis—her spirit remains unshaken. We sat together, reminisced about family stories, and she offered a heartfelt prayer for us all, especially in honor of my retirement.
In that moment, I felt the weight of heritage and the grace of belonging.
Despite my earlier apprehension, this visit reminded me of who I am and where I come from. It was humbling—and necessary.
Evening Reflections: Shared Meals and Quiet Joy
We returned to the hotel for a light refreshment at the M Lounge, anticipating a special delivery:
🍽️ Home-cooked meals from my sister.
Back in our room, we gathered as a family—brothers, sisters, niece, and nephew—sharing dishes full of local delicacies, laughter, and memories. These are the kinds of evenings that fill the soul, not just the stomach.
Eventually, as the night settled, everyone headed out. We packed up for the night and reflected quietly on what had been a full and meaningful day.
Looking Ahead
So far, I must admit—my initial fears have been mostly misplaced.
But tomorrow begins another chapter: traveling to the hinterlands to begin the process of organizing my wife’s family home.
Long before its icy shores were ever seen, Antarctica existed in the human imagination—a place of mystery, balance, and symmetry. As early as the 6th century BCE, the philosopher Pythagoras proposed that the Earth was round. Building on this idea, ancient Greek thinkers reasoned that if there was land in the north, there must be land in the south—a great unknown mass to balance the globe. This theoretical land became known by many names through the centuries, including Terra Australis Incognita—the Unknown Southern Land.
Even today, Antarctica remains a place apart—untouched by borders, politics, or ownership. Governed not by conquest but by cooperation, the Antarctic Treaty stands as a rare testament to international unity, preserving this continent for science and peace.
From a geological perspective, Antarctica’s isolation shaped its destiny. Around 60 million years ago, it began drifting apart from Australia. As the Drake Passage opened between Antarctica and South America, the formation of the Antarctic Circumpolar Current created an invisible moat—circling the continent and insulating it from the warmth of neighboring seas. This current became a key player in locking Antarctica in its frozen stillness, sealing it off in time and temperature.
Standing on its frozen expanse in 2013, I was humbled—not just by its stark beauty and ferocious winds—but by the realization that Antarctica is both a frontier and a mirror: a final wilderness where the Earth whispers its deepest secrets and challenges us to protect what is rare, wild, and essential.
Palmer Station, Antarctica
Established in 1968, Palmer Station is named in honor of Nathan B. Palmer, one of the first people to lay eyes on Antarctica during his expedition in 1820. Located on Anvers Island along the Antarctic Peninsula, the station can accommodate up to 44 researchers and staff, typically reaching full capacity during the austral summer months.
Palmer Station serves as a hub for vital scientific research, focusing on marine ecosystem monitoring, atmospheric studies, and the impact of heightened ultraviolet radiation on both marine and terrestrial life. Much of this work has been spurred by the expanding ozone hole, a growing environmental concern over the past few decades.
One of the more visible consequences of climate change in the region has been the decline of the Adélie penguin population. Changes in sea-ice patterns and snowfall—driven by a warming climate—have contributed to a dramatic population drop: from over 8,000 breeding pairs in 1974 to fewer than 3,300 pairs. By 2014, researchers predicted that Adélie penguins could disappear entirely from the island, a stark symbol of the broader ecological shifts underway in the Antarctic.
Icebergs of Antarctic Proportion
Though most icebergs remain confined to coastal waters by prevailing winds and currents, the largest ever recorded have calved from Antarctica’s vast Ross Ice Shelf. These colossal slabs of ice, known as tabular icebergs, break off and drift into the Southern Ocean, sometimes becoming legendary in size and spectacle.
One of the most famous, Iceberg B-15, was captured by satellite imagery in the year 2000. It measured approximately 295 by 37 kilometers (183 by 23 miles), covering a staggering surface area of 11,000 square kilometers—larger than the entire island of Jamaica.
Even more astounding was the largest iceberg ever observed, sighted on November 12, 1956, by the crew of the USS Glacier. Spotted 150 miles west of Scott Island in the South Pacific, this tabular giant measured an estimated 335 by 97 kilometers
Because the density of pure ice is approximately 920 kg/m³, and that of seawater about 1025 kg/m³, typically only one-ninth of the volume of an iceberg is visible above the water. The shape of the submerged portion is often difficult to discern from what is seen above the surface. This phenomenon has given rise to the expression “the tip of the iceberg,”referring to a problem or situation where only a small part is visible while a much larger issue remains hidden beneath the surface.
Final Reflections: Elephant Island, Deception Island & Paradise Harbor
Elephant Island, just northwest of the Trinity Peninsula, would likely have remained obscure were it not for the remarkable survival story of Sir Ernest Shackleton’s ill-fated Endurance expedition. After being trapped in the Antarctic pack ice for over a year and spending an astonishing 497 days without touching solid ground, Shackleton and his 27 men finally broke free and rowed northward in search of refuge. Frozen, exhausted, and clinging to hope under a dim polar sunset, they miraculously landed on the desolate shores of Elephant Island. It may not resemble paradise to most, but for those men—it was salvation.
Yet Shackleton’s resolve was far from spent. Realizing no one would come looking for them, he and five others embarked on an improbable 800-mile voyage across the treacherous Southern Ocean in a 22-foot open boat. Their goal: reach South Georgia Island and summon help. Against staggering odds, they not only survived but crossed the island’s rugged, icy terrain to organize a rescue. After 105 days stranded, the remaining 22 men were finally retrieved from Elephant Island. Not a single life was lost. Shackleton’s feat remains one of the greatest survival and leadership stories in exploration history.
Further west lies Deception Island, a partially submerged volcanic caldera offering a rare natural harbor in Antarctica’s otherwise hostile coastline. Entry is only possible through Neptune’s Window, a narrow breach in the volcanic wall. Ships must carefully navigate around Raven Rock, a deceptively shallow hazard that lurks near the center of the channel. Inside, the island reveals its strange serenity—steaming beaches and colorful cliffs, remnants of a geologic past still simmering beneath the ice.
Finally, we sailed into Paradise Harbor—also known as Paradise Bay—a name that feels poetic rather than literal. There are no swaying palms here, no sun-kissed sands, yet its beauty is undeniable. Towering glaciers and jagged mountains frame the tranquil inlet in a striking composition of ice and stone. Along its edge lies the charred remains of Almirante Brown Station, an Argentine research base destroyed by fire in 1984. Now abandoned, it stands as a quiet reminder of the challenges faced even in humanity’s most remote outposts.
Simply O 